I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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