You're completely useless in the revolution.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
