i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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