Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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