This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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