Small penises have feelings too.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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