I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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