She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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