You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
