If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
