His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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