Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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