I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
