I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
