nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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