Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
