i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
