Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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