Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
