Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
