I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
