The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Let's get the cat blown out
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
