Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.