I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals