How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car