Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
