just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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