just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
