after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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