Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
