Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
