My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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