Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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