hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
