i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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