At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
