After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
