I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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