Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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