I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think people are normalizing furries
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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