btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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