I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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