Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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