You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
