I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
