am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
