This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
