How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
