2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
