Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize