Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's shark week go big or go home
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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