how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
