we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
