My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
