im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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