His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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