fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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