In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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