Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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