Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Someone signed my nipple.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
