It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
