you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
