I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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