weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
