I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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