Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize