lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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